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Torn diary page This place can change anyone. Climbing up from the very bottom is just the first step towards making a difference... But I lost myself along the way... not completely, but some important, fundamental part of me slipped away like sand through my fingers. My humanity, perhaps? Looking back, I often wonder about the ambitious young man I used to be, the man who came to work at the Ministry with the desire to help people - would he launch Heimdall? Or would he be horrified at the mere thought of doing such a thing to living people? We will all burn in hell for it...

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Torn diary page The preparations took so many years, so much energy, so many sacrifices... The first trial run is in a month. Our chance to change everything for the better will come to fruition in some 30 days. I can't believe it. And I'll finally get to see my son! Without having to fear for his life or those of his family. But it's too early to daydream and celebrate this victory. There is still much I still have to check. The important thing is to make sure that the signal stability doesn’t violate the alpha rhythms at 9 Hz...

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Torn diary page I don’t have time to destroy everything. They'll be able to restore it from the backup copies... But I've still done something! I have completely changed the login procedure. Now, it’s not just bound to a specific individual’s biometrics - most functions can only be activated using encryption keys. I’d like to see them try to collect all the Heimdall codes. Hah! Only one person can get them. I try to convince myself that these boxes aren’t just an old man’s desperate attempt to stall them for a while. It’s a small sliver of a shot at making things right. And this has to be done using... my blood, my genes, my heir, my son. Evan will be the one to make the choice. By himself. I'm a damn coward for shifting the responsibility to my child...

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Torn diary page The Inner Circle. Who came up with such a name for the handful of people running the country, hiding behind the image of the Wise Leader? I often asked this question at first, but then realized that there was as much sense to it as there is in the appeals of citizens coming to the Ministry. Because the Inner Circle doesn’t include a single honest person... I used to think that one of them was trustworthy. But he turned out to be the most cunning and slippery of them all. I sometimes even doubt whether he’s human at all.

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Diary page That image, created before our birth, was developed down to the finest detail. He wears a military uniform because he is always ready to defend his homeland, but the uniform is always blindingly white, without a single speck. His cap makes him look more courageous, and the ribbon with the coat of arms marks him as the true son of the State - as the Commander-in-Chief should be. But the most insidious part is the mustache. There's something soft and cozy in it. He looks like a father, an uncle, an older brother, a teacher or a best friend. Without the mustache, he doesn't look wise. The mustache makes him trustworthy.

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James was a good man. He was so reliable and strong that you felt confident in yourself when he was nearby. I'm very sad that we aren't as close friends as before. My distrust probably applies to everyone now. He’s given me no reason for it, but my persecution complex manages to find suspicious details everywhere - in every phrase and look. As they say: just because you’re paranoid doesn't mean they aren’t after you. And it seems to me that his sincere desire to help and to uncover the Inner Circle is hiding something else. Someone else, to be precise. Someone at the top of the I.I.D. is digging around for the Inner Circle. Though I wish to hold all my “colleagues” to account, the presence of one more piece on the chessboard frightens me. That's why I don’t trust James.

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Torn diary page We've spent so much time studying the immunity of the blind to our signal that we've become blind ourselves. It was so obvious! Heimdall... doesn't make corrections, as we thought it did. It doesn't fix things the way we... the way I... had hoped. It suppresses, entirely replaces the subject with itself, leaving no memory of the signal! It's so hideous that I can't find the proper words. This changes everything! Handing it over to the Inner Circle is the same as allowing a pyromaniac to drive a train with high-octane fuel tanks into a volcano... Today I locked the system to the central terminal and blocked access to everyone except myself. I'll make my last attempt this evening. 5 uV may be less destructive... but there's little hope left...

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Torn diary page The closer the work gets to completion, the more the situation heats up. I cannot shake the feeling of an approaching thunderstorm: the very air seems to be electrified. Yesterday there was another failed attempt on Weinberg’s life. And Ferguson doesn't even bother to hide his disappointment about it. They're like a pack of dogs fighting over a bone hanging above their heads. All I have to do is to immerse myself in work like Hemnitz and ignore what’s happening. Sometimes I remind myself that an ostrich that tries to bury its head in the sands of the Ministry might end up hitting it against the concrete floor... But I must finish this project. Then I’ll have my chance of redemption...

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Torn diary page Alpha rhythms are considered to be absent in people with congenital blindness or atrophy of the optic nerve. This issue became crucial when DeSalvo, along with Weinberg, suggested issuing all blind citizens with tickets for the Blissful Sleep. Curse them! This project was developed to ensure that no one else had to die! Thank god that the latest data came in, proving that alpha rhythms aren't the main indicator of a recipient's sensitivity... But I was impressed once again by how easily they can solve any difficulties! No man, no problem! It’s disgusting. Another reason to think about restricting access to the control terminal.

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