Walter Bullhauser, a suspended official in the Department of Homeland Security, was recently arrested in his apartment. Witnesses claim that he was…

Walter Bullhauser, a suspended official in the Department of Homeland Security, was recently arrested in his apartment. Witnesses claim that he was surprised by the state police while preparing a crusty roast. "Apparently they forgot to turn off the stove. It smoked for hours until the fire department could break open the apartment. It was horrible!" said a neighbor who wished to remain anonymous. "Mr. Bullhauser could never muddy a waters. It must be a misunderstanding."