What happened here? I've been bringing reports to the Ministry of Distribution for the last three days. I missed everything.

They say Redgrave fell out a window yesterday! Do you know who he was?

Of course I do! He was one of the big wigs. How could something like that happen?

No idea. You'd better not dwell on it.

Thorin saw him fall! Right from the top floor, he says! First some shards of glass came raining down, then...

Holy shit! Heads must have rolled after that, eh?

No, Phil. Everything’s been quiet. They declared a mourning period as usual. And that's even scarier, you know?

Ministers don't just drop out of windows every day! There must be more to it!

Keep it down! You want to take a little trip out a window too?

Don't say that! I just... I didn't mean...

Let's get out of here.

Hurry up, we’re going to miss everything! It's punishment day! They're going to punish that fool from the first floor who lost his papers!

Oh yeah! Let's go, we still have time.

And I told him: “With that kind of Authority, I'd rather date a courier!”.

And what did he say?

He went off to earn some money! Joined one of those punishment squads, those... er, whaddaya call ‘em... y'know, spy hunters.

You're such a heartless bitch!

I know my worth!

I saw the guards searching you. What did they want?

Who knows? They said they were looking for a bald man.

But you have hair!

Yeah, but under my hair I’m bald! It took a while to sort out...

I forgot the access code to my terminal!

What am I to do now?

Not a clue… Maybe someone else will remember it?

Good luck…

The boss announced today that he has to cut our salary to reduce spending...

What about his salary?

Well, he bought himself a gold watch yesterday to see who comes late for work!

Never walk around the office empty-handed. Take a folder with you, some papers - it doesn't matter what!

Why?

They fine anyone who doesn’t have papers!

I came in on my day off to send a letter to my boss!

Is it that important?

Nah, it’s nothing, but I want him to see that I'm working!

... If you need it that badly, just take some of mine. I’ve got two rolls of the stuff.

That’s not what I meant when I said that someone stole my scotch...

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Did you read that article about our victories in Today?

I don't read Today, I read Tomorrow!

Well I read Today today, and I’ll read Tomorrow tomorrow. They're both great!

Got a couple hundred to last ‘til Saturday?

Yeah, I’m all set, don’t you worry.

My brother is in resource management.

Like in the Ministry of Social Care?

No, he excavates them. He’s a miner.

I went to the Salary Department yesterday to find out why I’ve been getting paid so little.

So what?

Everything is okay! Turns out I just have a shitty salary.

What's the name of that guy from the Claims Department?

Dick!

Richard?

With his Authority and his salary, Dick suits him better!

Grabowski, you're a bloody layabout and a parasite! How the hell did you manage to make so many mistakes in one day!?

By coming in early and sticking strictly to the plan, boss!

They say there’s going to be a new directive to ban catching flies!

What are you worried about? It’s not like you go around catching flies anyways!

Yeah, but I choose not to do it of my own free will. I don’t need a directive telling me what not to do!

I heard that our department is being downsized by 40%! What happened?

Relax! The boss just had a fight with his wife again and threatened to fire all her relatives. Same old story.

I ran out of hot water while I was taking a shower yesterday!

Oh no! Was something broken?

No, I used up my allotment. It’s going to be a long, cold wait until next quarter...

You write rejections with a red pen, resolutions with a blue one, and notes with a green one! What’s not to understand?

Where do I write them?

I heard that they uncovered a spy network in the statistics department!

How?!

They all got food poisoning from contraband sausage! And wherever there’s contraband, there must be spies. You just have to put two and two together!

I got a pay rise!

Congratulations!

Thanks. Now I’m earning 0.8 times more! Do you think it will be enough for me to buy a new suit?

I don't want to upset you... But probably not.

My entire salary was taken to buy war bonds! How will I feed my kids?

Hush, someone will hear you!

Yes, sorry... But how can I look them in the eyes now?

Why were you late today?

There was this woman who set off the alarm at one of the checkpoints. They stripped her right down to her underwear then and there, in front of everyone! It, er, took me a little longer than usual to get through...

Ah, I heard about that! The guards who stripped her down already got what was coming to them. Turns out she’s the daughter of the third floor boss!

...found it in the trash. So he was arrested on the spot!

What, they check the trash cans too?

Didn’t you know?

It's raining again today, and I forgot my umbrella!

Hopefully they’ll cancel that rally in support of the Leader! I don't want to get wet.

I wouldn’t count on it. They always go ahead with the rallies, whatever the weather - you shouldn’t forget that!

Did you see the new monument to the Leader in the square? What a monstrosity!

Are you nuts? I’m going to pretend I didn't hear that!

You

I don't have time to talk about this.

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