Hi there! I assume you’re the one I’ve been waiting for. My name is George Hemnitz.
George HemnitzHi there! I assume you’re the one I’ve been waiting for. My name is George Hemnitz.
Nice to meet you. Evan.
George HemnitzYou must be quite a big deal, Evan.
Why?
George HemnitzI've been with the Ministry for 8 years, 4 months, and 12 days. In that time, I’ve processed 18,342 applications, had 1,629 cups of coffee, and witnessed 284 incidents of civil disorder.
Now ask me how many times I’ve been sent to welcome a new employee on his first day.
How many?
George HemnitzZero, Evan. Zilch! Not once in all those 3,052 days! So there has to be something special about you, right?
Responses
You're right, I'm a big shot at the Ministry
My last name is Redgrave. Heard of it?
I have no idea what you’re talking about
Perhaps you’ve gotten me mixed up with someone else. I'm just here to be a clerk. My name's Evan Redgrave.
George HemnitzRedgrave? As in, “Redgrave” Redgrave?! Oh God! Your father...
Responses
Enough chit-chat, let’s just get to the Ministry!
George HemnitzUnderstood. I promise I won’t talk too talk much on the way there.
Go on, Hemnitz. What did you want to say?
George HemnitzMy deepest condolences. I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. And to think I saw him just 58 hours and 23 minutes before he... Before his death....
We weren't that close. To be honest, we hadn't talked in a decade. Up until yesterday, I didn't even know he worked here.
George HemnitzYour father didn't just work here - he was one of the most respected people in the Ministry. One of the few people to make it to the very top.
And the most amazing thing is, he never looked down on his subordinates. He was an open and honest man.
What happened? Have the police found anything out?
George HemnitzPeople like us are never told much, so I only know one or two things for sure. The rest is all just hearsay and fantasies dreamed up by employees with nothing better to do.
What are the facts?
George Hemnitz47 hours and 23 minutes ago your father fell from a window on the top floor of the Ministry. He fell 37 floors, hit the pavement and died instantly.
Law enforcement are working tirelessly to find out how and why this happened. Or at least, that’s what they say they’re doing.
That's not much to go on...
George HemnitzI might have some important information to give you in connection with your father's death.
But it’d be better to discuss it somewhere quiet, and after I’ve given you your instructions and shown you to your desk.
We’re here for a reason, after all! Ready for your first day at the Ministry?
Let's get to it.
George HemnitzThe Ministry is considered, quite rightfully, to be one of the most beautiful and well-equipped buildings in the country. Have a look for yourself: it’s 226 meters tall, contains 12,742 offices spread out over its 37 floors, and welcomes over 325,000 visitors a day!
Sometimes I catch myself thinking about all those thousands of people, and trying to calculate just how many more consumer goods they could be producing if they didn’t have to spend all their time waiting in lines.
But even I can’t handle those kinds of numbers, and I always give up.
George HemnitzCheck out the statue of the Wise Leader in the square. It took 5,500 tons of concrete and 2,400 tons of metal to build it.
That statue weighs 8,000 tons! We could have built eight kindergartens and a hospital with all those materials, but the Ministry knows what the people really need.
Impressive, isn't it?
George HemnitzThis cold, indifferent pavement is where your father met his end.
Now all the gossips love to hang around here. You can listen in on them, but you're not likely to hear anything particularly useful or nice.
You should get used to it, though. That’s just how it is around here - no matter what position you're in, you've got to listen carefully, take note of everything and report it to the higher-ups.
George HemnitzThe safety and security of the Ministry are another source of pride for us. The security guards can be some of your best friends here - especially if you’re able to come to some kind of arrangement with them...
Our guards have thwarted 985 terrorist acts this year alone. That's an average of almost four attempts a day!
So make sure you’ve always got some cash on you, just in case, and don’t do anything to spoil their numbers. Do you follow me?
George HemnitzLooks like someone’s up to no good! We use cutting-edge technologies to protect the people of our great state! These checkpoints are connected to the main Ministry database by the latest fibre optic technology. The connection speed is over 10 gigabits a second!
These checkpoints screen for prohibited items and identify them immediately. We spent over 180,000,000 on the development of this technology.
That said, there’s always a way to get around the checkpoints - if you butter up the guards enough.
George HemnitzAs I said before, there are 37 floors, and twice that many underground. At least, according to official data.
The higher the floor, the better the job. If you work hard, you might make it to the top. But keep in mind that a lot of people want to get promoted, so competition here is fierce and merciless.
People here would do anything for a promotion. Some scheme against their coworkers, some suck up to the bosses.
Some nutjobs even try to further their careers by working hard. Those people aren’t right in the head. The way all of this is set up, it’s next to impossible to get anywhere by working hard.
Though I think someone with your last name won’t have much difficulty moving up the ladder. One day, you'll get a promotion and step into that elevator. Best of all, everyone else on this floor will be jealous!
George HemnitzWe should always remember why we are here, and what it took to get us here.
Every now and then it’s worth showing the proper respect to the one who sacrificed everything for his people. Remember: the Wise Leader is ever vigilant!
Things like happiness and sadness come and go. But the Leader is ever present.
George HemnitzThis is where we hold general meetings. They’re usually pretty mundane - some people get rewarded for their work, others get reprimanded for theirs. Sometimes, we also publicly condemn the actions of our neighbor states.
Some smartass suggested that we call the meetings “Five Minutes of Hatred”. He got reprimanded on the spot and hasn’t made any further suggestions since. Or more accurately, he hasn’t been able to.
We also sing patriotic songs here sometimes. I’ve sung the national anthem 426 times this month!
George HemnitzThe first floor of the Ministry has an area of 440,000 square meters. Incredible, isn't it?
440,000 square meters of bureaucratic heaven!
George HemnitzSee those lines? Every single person standing there has come here with a problem. Whether it's a real issue or not isn't up to us to decide. Our job is to send people to the right department.
But it's important not to get too much done... We don't want people thinking that the Ministry doesn't have enough to do.
George HemnitzThis one is as clumsy as they come - he’s always dropping something. I can never remember his name.
You can help him if you want. But helping others isn’t really “the done thing” around here.
On one hand, of course, people might be grateful for your help. On the other... You never really know what other people are up to.
Most of the people here wouldn’t pass up the chance to trip you up or stab you in the back.
And I mean that quite literally. But what you do is up to you.
George HemnitzA commendable choice. Keep in mind you can't help everyone, no matter how hard you try. And trust me, I’ve tried.
Sometimes the best choice is not to get involved.
George HemnitzIf you sit on the riverbank long enough, the current might sweep away your enemies for you.
What I’m saying is that it’s perfectly acceptable to take a neutral position. Or an “indifferent” one, as some might call it. There are a lot of people here who don’t care one way or another.
George HemnitzWow! I see you’re not one to tolerate weakness. Well, walking all over people and destroying the competition is an approach that works well in here.
Many have risen through the ranks that way. And anyway, who am I to judge a Redgrave?
George HemnitzAnd here's the general hall. You'll be spending a lot of time here working or talking to coworkers.
George HemnitzThat's your desk. Take a look around. I'll give you your first assignment when you're ready.
Remember how you promised “not to talk too much” on the way, Hemnitz? I shudder to think what “too much” means to you.
I don't have time to talk about this.
Codes required:
You cannot change you choice