Hello! My name is…
Hello! My name is…
Evan Redgrave. 27. Married. One daughter.
You’re well-informed!
Nobody comes here without me knowing about it. I’m Rose Everdeen, Comrade DeSalvo’s secretary. Comrade Everdeen to you.
I’m responsible for this department, its adherence to the rules and making sure it gets results.
Nothing you do will escape my attention. Have you been given instructions about your new job?
No, I haven't…
Here we work with the citizens’ appeals that those imbeciles on the 1st floor have assigned to us.
Read the instructions carefully. If you follow them to the letter, you’ll be seen as a good employee and enjoy a longer life than your predecessor.
Come, I’ll show you to your workplace.
Here is your workplace. The cleaner has the key - he was supposed to clean everything there.
What happened?
A nervous breakdown and an accident.
Find the cleaner. He’ll either be by Comrade DeSalvo's office or near the Shredder.
I have the key, Comrade Everdeen.
Then open the doors and get down to business! Today you need to process 10 applications.
I hope that you, unlike your predecessor, will be of use to the Ministry.
Your job is to put seals and stamps on citizens' appeals. You’ll figure it out as you go.
What?
Responses
Hand over the workplace key
Find out what she needs
Put a quiz team together
Ask what she needs
Tell about Gloria Melfi's son
Ask about Hank Wright’s brother
General chat
End conversation
Do you know what month it is?
Yes! The Leader's Patriotic Quiz will be taking place soon.
Several teams are taking part in the quiz, and one person isn’t enough. There are just 5 people between me and a brilliant LPQ!
I already have one. Gloria Melfi signed her son up.
I want you to find four more people for the team. Employees of our floor can’t take part in the quiz, so wander around the Ministry. If nothing else works, you can get someone from the street. Can you handle that?
Responses
Agree
I'll do what I can.
I’ll be waiting.
I’ll be waiting.
Refuse
Sorry, but I can't do that right now.
Well, Redgrave, did you find anyone for the team? By the way, we've decided on the prizes - a set of books with quotes from the Great Leader and a travel voucher to the cities that he toured with his speeches! I wouldn't say no to them myself!
Responses
Name the quiz participants
Yes, I found some willing participants!
Good job!
Back
Evan Redgrave! I need you.
Me?
It’s about the Leader's Patriotic Quiz. Gloria Melfi signed her son up for the team, but he didn't show up!
I’ve already issued a reprimand. But I’m worried about the evasive answers she gave me.
I consider it unacceptable to poke my nose into the personal lives of my colleagues. But you, as the new person on the team, could benefit from getting to know your new family a bit better.
Family?
“Colleagues are a family! They are our brothers and sisters in arms! Faithful comrades in the journey towards a brighter future”. These are the words of our great Leader.
Did you find out why Gloria Melfi’s son didn’t come to the quiz?
Responses
Tell her exactly what Melfi said
Gloria said that her son is a famous cellist and, as the person in charge of breeding new varieties of potatoes, he had to attend a meeting of the City Zoo's Ethics Committee. So he couldn’t come.
What potatoes? What zoo? If Gloria Melfi is crazy, she needs to be removed from her position! Was she really serious?
We work with documents! With the Shredder. It's dangerous! This is no place for crazy people!
Responses
Confirm that Gloria Melfi was serious
City Zoo. That's exactly what Gloria said. I didn't make anything up.
We need to get her checked out. It’s dangerous to have her working here.
Back
Come up with a convincing excuse
He’s a very busy man! He’s had so much work lately. He practically lives at his job.
I see. I won't need to request his personal file from the archive then. That always causes trouble.
Responses
Ask about the archive to find information about Melfi's son
How do I request a personal file from the archive?
The easiest way is to call from any phone - except your work phone.
Don't ask about Gloria Melfi’s son
It doesn't sound convincing. Everyone lives at work, and that doesn't stop honest citizens from participating in the Leader's Patriotic Quiz.
Responses
Ask about work
How long have you been working as secretary to Comrade DeSalvo?
I was one of the first whom Comrade DeSalvo called into service.
What service?
Service to the ideals of our state and the Great Leader personally, of course. May his health be unshakable!
Ask about family
Do you have a family?
If Comrade DeSalvo orders it - I'll have a family. But now I don’t have the time - service to the Ministry is my whole life!
Ask about colleagues
Responses
Ask about Hank Wright
Comrade Everdeen, how do you feel about Hank Wright?
He’s useless when he drinks, and he’s impossible when he’s sober. But Comrade DeSalvo decided that Hank should be here, so I obey.
Ask about Gloria Melfi
What do you think of Gloria? Is she a good worker?
Quite. Everyone chooses their own way to serve. My way is to help Comrade DeSalvo make our country great, and hers is to process papers well. So far, she’s doing fine.
Ask about John Smith
What do you think of John Smith?
I think he's damn lucky. He’s already won in the Supergame several times because all his competitors died in work-related accidents.
And that didn't ring any alarm bells?
People are mortal, Redgrave, and some people become mortal very suddenly. It happens.
Ask about Albert DeSalvo
What do you think of our boss?
Comrade DeSalvo is the most patriotic patriot in our great Motherland after the Great Leader himself!
Tell her that DeSalvo tortures people
Do you know that your boss tortures people?
Stop exaggerating! It’s just standard practice for increasing labor efficiency!
Are pain and death “just standard practice”?
Why death? I'm alive, aren't I? He showed me his collection, and one glance was enough to make me want to exceed my quotas!
Ask about Arthur Mitchell
Is it me or is our cleaner slightly wrong in the head?
He has some minor memory issues, but it doesn't affect his work. And he doesn’t get in anyone’s way.
Back
Ask about the Ministry
I'm sometimes amazed by how big the Ministry is. It’s just incredible!
It's magnificent!
Colossal!
Unthinkable!
Err…
Grandiose!
...
Amazing!
...
Divine!
But Comrade Everdeen, there is no God!
Who needs God when we have the Leader and the Ministry! All hail the Leader!
All hail the Leader!
Find out more about the Supergame
Responses
Who came up with the Supergame?
The Supergame was my idea. Comrade DeSalvo ordered me to find a way to increase staff efficiency, and I decided that the Shredder could do it better than any bonus.
What’s the point of the Supergame?
The point is simple: work better - and you'll live! After all, if you are of no use to the Ministry and do not serve our great Motherland and our Leader with all your might, then why do you need to exist at all?
How do you win the Supergame?
You need to score points before your rivals do. Points are awarded for processing forms.
Who sets the goal?
The quota is set by a Committee made up of employees from our floor, and takes into account the results of past competitions and the abilities of those participating.
Responses
How can I get on this Committee?
There are no vacant seats at the moment. All posts are occupied.
Who is on the Committee?
There’s the chairman, the secretary and three deputies.
And who are these people?
Me.
And the rest?
Chairman Rose Everdeen, Secretary Rose Everdeen, and Deputies Rose Everdeen, Rose Everdeen and Rose Everdeen.
Back
Back
Ask about the Shredder
Have you ever wondered what will happen if the Shredder stops?
That's impossible! The Shredder hasn't stopped in the whole history of the Ministry. Perhaps even the building itself was built around it.
Everything breaks eventually!
No. That’s not true, because it cannot be true!
Back
And here’s Evan Redgrave! I’ve been waiting for you!
Comrade Evan, your team won! You did a great job - keep it up!
A motivational reward has already been issued!
And the losing team has already packed its belongings and left the Ministry!
Really? I didn't see...
Why would you be looking in the Shredder anyway?
And here’s Evan Redgrave! I’ve been waiting for you!
Your team lost, which means your time at the Ministry is over. Your work will be transferred to another employee.
Do you have any metal objects on your clothes?
What?
Buckles, buttons, clips? I don’t want you breaking the Shredder. Just kidding. It could turn a tank into confetti.
Can I ask you a question, Rose?
That’s Comrade Everdeen to you, Redgrave!
Yes, sorry Comrade Everdeen! I want to ask about Rabindranath Wright - Hank Wright’s brother. Have you heard that he’s disappeared?
Not disappeared, but maliciously flouted the rules of discipline!
Has this happened before?
No one who violates the rules discipline repeats that mistake again, Redgrave.
Perhaps you might know what happened to him?
The reasons are of no interest to me. As soon as he shows up, he’ll be fired on the spot. I guarantee it!
Thanks, I guess.
Back to work, Redgrave!
Evan! Where have you been? You’re the only one we’ve been waiting for!
And so, today I would like to formally announce a new round of the Supergame!
To all the teams taking part - welcome!
Team “Loyalty”: 1. Kyle Broflovski 2. Nina Krauz 3. Cedric Krazhevich 4. Fin Brom.
Team “Homeland”: Evan Redgrave Carl 512 John Smith Carl 452 Gloria Melfi Carl 193 Hank Wright
Scoring will begin tomorrow at the start of the new work shift. As usual, the team that does more for the good of the Ministry wins.
And the losers will get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see the Shredder from the inside.
Congratulations to all of you. Now get back to work!
I don't have time to talk about this.
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