Hello! I'm Evan, I’ve just started working on this floor.
Hello! I'm Evan, I’ve just started working on this floor.
So. Are you a scientist or an attendant?
Attendant?
I see. Attendant it is. Since you’ll be working with me, I’m ready to spend some of my precious time explaining to you just what I expect.
Wait...
I'll start with the main thing. My name is Dr. Horatio Newport. I am 20 years old. I am the head genius here. After Weinberg, I'm the main administrator here. In terms of scientific issues, I'm simply in charge.
I understand. You’re in charge.
Correct. You are a servant, and I am in charge.
OK...
Yes? What? Please do not disturb me! I'm on the verge of a discovery... I hope it's work-related? I'm busy!
Responses
Ask about tests
Talk about the qualities of Carl Stein
Talk about clone vaccination
Talk about Novichok
Horatio, have you heard anything about the Novichok antidote?
The universal antidote for everything that causes tissue to regenerate with incredible speed? Of course I’ve heard of it! It’s utter quackery!
Why?
Panaceas do not exist, much the same as perpetual motion. And if you were a scientist, you would know that.
That's classified.
General chat
End conversation
Tell me about the tests. I don't want to upset the boss...
If you are a human, you’ll have a hard time pleasing him. Only perfect Carls can do that.
Tell me about Carl Zero’s personality. The boss instructed me to collect data for the experiment.
Did he take you as an assistant?!
No, of course not, he just asked me to collect data about the properties of the person transmitted from the human Carl to the clone.
Ah.. That's nothing!.. So! The main thing that was transmitted to Carl Zero from the original was a stable nervous system. Thanks to that, the clones can withstand the uploading of consciousness without going crazy afterwards.
You’ve been tasked with getting it, so go get it. Who do you think you are, that I’d waste my time on you?
Responses
Ask about favorite TV show
Discuss the Schrödinger Effect
Discuss the Schrödinger Effect
Discuss the Schrödinger Effect
Talk about clones
Why are all clones the same?
Because we scientists don't care what the petri dish looks like. What matters is what's going on in it.
Weinberg made the wise decision to optimize the cost of appearance, which allows me to focus my attention on improving the content.
What does that mean?
Weinberg and I are developing a new version of the Carls. They will be perfect! Obedient living robots! Perfect servants!
They will conquer the whole world!
We have developed special brain firmware and vaccines for genetic mutations. The results of the latest vaccination are staggering! If our theories are confirmed... It will be an incredible breakthrough!
That information is classified. You wouldn’t understand - these are matters of science.
Ask about colleagues
Can you tell me anything about our colleagues?
I have one colleague - Weinberg. All the rest are... ech... junior scientific staff and attendants.
Responses
Stephen Dawking
I have two higher degrees, and PhDs in biology, medicine and anatomy. But I still don’t understand how a disabled person could be hired to create the perfect human.
His mind still works though, right?
What can he bring to perfection? Frustration over his own ugliness? I do not understand!
I knew that bringing a disabled person to the floor where perfect people are created was a bad idea. Well, at least that got figured out!
Maria Curie
I don’t understand why they keep her here. The language of science is universal, of course, but she’s a woman!
And what's wrong with that?
Even if anyone here could understand her, I doubt that she’d be capable of contributing anything to scientific thought.
Why was she arrested, again? Ah, doesn't matter... If she couldn't even think a crime through, what is there to say about her scientific work? It’s no doubt as useless as her plan...
The boss
He is the only person I could call my equal when it comes to intellectual capacity, knowledge, and scientific standing. True, in recent times he has become fascinated by some Gnostic theories, but great minds aren’t without their eccentricities.
No matter what anyone says, I believe that isolating Weinberg from scientific activity is a real crime! His was one of the greatest minds of our time, he shouldn't be distracted!
On the other hand, I think I know who the new boss will be.
Back
Ask about this floor
Why did you think I'm an attendant?
On this floor, people are divided into scientists and attendants. Scientists create, and attendants simply replicate their discoveries and help to make new ones. I don’t think it’s necessary explain who is more important. Or is there?
Ask about family
Your family must be proud of you. Dr. Newport.
They would be proud - if they weren’t so self-important! My father was only ever awarded the minor Leader’s Medal for Science, whereas I, don't you know, have been awarded the major medal, the state prize and last year’s Best Scientist Cup!
When I pointed out to him that he was objectively less intelligent than me, he stopped talking to me. So now I live in a closed dorm for geniuses.
Back
Do you watch TV?
Great minds need a break, too. But no vulgarity like romance or shooting - not interested. I watch The Schrödinger Effect. It's about this scientist who can split himself in two for double efficiency!
Dr. Newport, can you help me? I took your advice and started watching The Schrödinger Effect, but I couldn’t figure out whether the main character is alive or dead.
It is commendable that you enjoy quality entertainment. But if you think that I’ll talk TV with you, you're mistaken.
I'm sorry, Dr. Newport, I know that you don’t like to discuss TV shows... But The Schrödinger Effect is incredible! Thanks for telling me about it!
Please... uh... What's your name?
Evan!
You’re welcome, Evan! I'm glad that even mediocrities like yourself are drawn to real art.
Dr. Newport! The latest episode of the Schrödinger Effect is something else! That bit with the cat just blew my mind!
Probability theory had the same effect on me when I was five years old. But I’m glad that you are becoming smarter under my influence.
Dr. Newport! I want to discuss the vaccination of the clones with you.
There is nothing to discuss here. That information is classified. And besides, do not distract me - I have a lot to do!
That's what I wanted to talk about! Let me help you with the vaccinations! A great mind such as yours shouldn’t be wasted on giving injections to clones. And I might learn a thing or two!
Well... I suppose you do have a point... It’s like hammering nails with a microscope. And it would be beneficial to you, that's true. Can you do it, though?
My mother was sick for a long time... I had to give her injections. I think I’ll manage OK.
Fine… Proceed. In the meantime, I need to contemplate a thought that may lead to another scientific breakthrough!
What makes you think that I’d want to discuss my research with an underling?
I don't have time to talk about this.
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