Hello, I am Evan Redgrave. I was recently transferred to this floor.
Hello, I am Evan Redgrave. I was recently transferred to this floor.
Hi. I’m Otto, Otto Werner. What’s your allegiance?
Allegiance? What do you mean?
Well, do you shuffle papers around or can you do stuff with your hands?
Papers, actually, but I can also do things with my hands...
Oh you can, can you? Well, I’m a grade-6 technician, so if I see your hands anywhere near my sweetie-pie I’ll feed you to her personally.
Are you talking about the Shredder?
“Shredder”?! Get outta here with your talk like that. This machine is the best thing in the friggin’ Ministry!
Aren’t you afraid of saying things like that?
What do I have to be afraid of? I’ve overhauled this so-called “Shredder” twice with my eyes closed, and I know it like the back of my three-fingered hand! Where could they find another mechanic like me?
I see.
Go on.
Responses
Ask about Hank Wright’s brother
Talk about the unit
Invite to the quiz
General chat
End conversation
Go on.
Responses
Ask about the Shredder
Can you tell me about the Shred... your sweetie-pie?
Ooh! She’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! There’s no other like her in the whole world! It took 1,000 engineers to put her together! She takes up three floors! Got a processing speed of ten tons a minute! Self-sharpening blades, and enough power to grind metal and stone!
Have you tried?
When I was younger, sure... Kept trying to find something too tough for her to chew up.
And did you find anything?
What I found was my one true love! Nothing can stop my sweetie-pie when she gets going!
Ask about the Supergame
Otto, have you heard about the inter-department competition?
You office rats have nothing better to do, so you keep coming up with nonsense like that!
But have you heard of it?
I have no idea what the competition is about! To see who can shuffle the most papers around or something. I only know that I have to clean my sweetie-pie after every game! They toss stuff into her and I’m left to clear up the mess!
Ask about family
Do you have a family?
Family? What for? Take a look at my sweetie-pie! The curves, the grace! And she’s so easy to deal with, almost never acts up... I’d marry her if I could...
Ask about colleagues
Could you tell me about the people in the office? I hardly know anyone here...
Who do you want to know about?
Responses
Ask about Gloria Melfi
What can you tell me about Gloria?
That lady who goes on and on about her son? I think she’s a bit off her rocker...
Why do you think so?
Look at me. Do I look like a boy? Old enough at least to be her husband, even though she's not my type... but a son? She’s clearly not in her right mind!
Ask about Hank Wright
What can you tell me about Hank?
I hate that idiot! He’s been coming here every day for the last week to stand beside my sweetie-pie and bawl his eyes out. She could get rusty!
Why does he cry?
Hell if I know! Ask him yourself!
Ask about John Smith
Tell me about John.
There’s nothing to tell.
Ask about Rose Everdeen
What can you tell me about Rose?
The “suckretary”? Now that’s someone I’d gladly feed to my sweetie-pie!
Why?
Just to see who wins. Rose is as hard as rock! She’ll devour anyone for that Supergame of hers without batting an eye. I’ve seen all sorts of horrors, but that witch causes me to come out in goosebumps... and drop a crowbar, as it were.
Is there no way to reign her in?
She only listens to the boss - everyone else means nothing to her. We’re just numbers on a scoreboard.
Ask about Albert DeSalvo
Do you know anything about the boss?
Listen, I’m a mechanic! As far as I’m concerned, the farther I am from the superiors, the better. The deal is, he doesn’t mess around here, I don’t mess around in his office. End of story!
Ask why colleagues don't talk about him
Otto, why does no one know anything about you?
So your colleagues don't want to talk about me? They’re afraid of me. They believe everyone I talk to ends up losing the Supergame.
And I have some old scores to settle with Rose Everdeen. That bitch refused to give me sick leave when I hurt my hand. I swore that she’d go the same way as my fingers, ha ha ha!
Back
Ask about the Ministry
Do you talk to other mechanics in the Ministry?
We should all mind our own business, kid. I’m responsible for my sweetie-pie, and she works great! Although it wouldn’t hurt to replace some old parts.
Back
I have a question, Otto. Do you remember Rabindranath Wright, Hank’s brother?
Rabindra nathrite anksbrother... what language are you speaking right now?
The brother of the guy who visits your sweetie-pie every day and cries.
He had a brother? I never would’ve guessed.
Well, and he thinks his brother fell in...
Go on! He fell into my sweetie-pie?
Well, yes.
What can I say? It happens. To those who do not comply with safety regulations, and I don’t want to answer for those fools. That’s why sweetie-pie here has a memory unit which logs everything that goes into her.
Wow! Can I see the data on the unit?
If you got me a replacement, I’d be able to take out the current one.
Where can I get one of these memory units?
Therein lies the challenge, soldier! You think you can just waltz in and get everything you want, just like that? Search for it!
Okay, I’ll try.
Well, did you find it?
Responses
Yes
Yes, I’ve found a new memory unit.
Probably has bad sectors... Let’s see... Hmm... It’s a good model, sweetie-pie will like it...
Can you show me the log?
Just a minute, I’ll replace it and read the data.
No
Well, keep looking.
What do we have here? Aha!
...
Here is the list of organic objects that entered my sweetie-pie over the period when your guy went missing...
1. Billy Milligan 2. Jacob Koch 3. Stanislaw von Bayer 4. Valeria Singh 5. Ines Blume...
6. John Kirmacher 7. Nicholas McBride 8. Emil Heart 9. Lilian Gabey 10. Oliver Whist...
11. Mr. Fluffy 12. Rebecca Walde 13. Edwin Dimario 14. Kent Kent 15. Otto Otto.
Is that all?
Yes. What was your guy called?
Rabindranath Wright
He’s not here!
Thanks, Otto!
Thanks, Otto!
Otto, I’m looking for people to take part in the quiz game. Up for it?
Will I need to repair any mechanisms for it?
Afraid not. It’s a patriotic quiz, so you’ll need to answer questions about the country and the Leader.
Then I’ll pass. Find someone else.
Werner, why is Hank angry? Yelling at everyone for no reason...
Hank? He's probably sober, so he's angry. He'll get friendlier once he gets drinking.
I don't have time to talk about this.
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