Workplace casualties

Summary of the incident: Yesterday, as a result of gross safety violations while working with packaging materials, Ministry employees Hank and Rabindranath Wright lost their lives in a tragic accident. A subsequent investigation found that Hank Wright and Rabindranath Wright had been stealing packaging materials from the trade pavilion on the waterfront. Strong winds caused the packaging wrap to unravel. The brothers got entangled in it, fell over, and rolled down the steep bank of the river - receiving multiple bruises, fractures, and deep penetrating wounds from tree branches and debris on the riverbank. The Ministry of Information would like to remind you all of the need to comply with the law and all safety measures, and to kindly donate money for the funeral.