An outrage occurred last night at the city port! Two unknown individuals unloaded several truckloads of rubber ducks into the water near the port.…

An outrage occurred last night at the city port! Two unknown individuals unloaded several truckloads of rubber ducks into the water near the port. Witnesses say the trucks were marked Duck Fleet." The ducklings, which drifted for miles on the current, bore inscriptions such as "Make ducks, not mines," "Ducks want peace," and "This war is a lame duck." The Minister of Order said this was a planned attack aimed at lowering the morale of our military; therefore, those responsible will be found and prosecuted. He also said rubber ducks are now considered anti-state propaganda, and storing them will be grounds for a fine.