SEARCH FOR ZLATA SCHIMMER'S PERSONAL PROFILE BY DNA SAMPLE (-2,000 authority points)

Adoptive parents: Klaus and Maria Schimmer. Date of adoption: August 17, 1978

Biological parents: no information. Search in the DNA database is available.

Have you heard of the Blissful Sleep procedure? You know I'm not 85 years old! I don't want to die!

Everybody wants to live in paradise but no one wants to die. That doesn't change anything, however.

You're mistaken about not being 85. The Ministry of Congratulations doesn't err.

If the registry says you're 85, you're 85.

But I'm not even 65! Can't anyone at the Ministry fix the paper?

You mean commit fraud? Medina, are you insane?

Anyone trying to fix this so-called "error" will be branded a federal criminal and arrested immediately!

Do you want someone to sacrifice their life to commit treason for you?

Remember, once and for all: no Ministry of our Great State ever makes a mistake!

Even thinking that way is a crime!

Comrade Hempf, I have a personal request.

Hector, you do realize making personal requests to a state official is considered an abuse of authority?

There's no room for anything personal in our Great State. Everything is for the communal good.

I'm sorry. I won't trouble you again.

You give up too easily, Medina! The communal good consists of the happiness of every citizen!

And I can tell you're not after personal gain. What is it?

I need to know who Zlata Schimmer's real parents are. You see, she was adopted.

Zlata was hit by a car recently and needs a bone marrow donor.

She was adopted? Oh yes, I remember that very clearly. Ha ha ha...

So?

Information is expensive, Hector. I'll give you what you're seeking in exchange for something else.

What do you want me to do?

Not you. Maria Schimmer. I'd like her to do me a... uh... personal favor...

Arrange a rendezvous and I'll bring you the information.

What? I don't understand...

Of course you do, Medina. You're a grown man. Tell Maria I'll be waiting for her in my apartment.

If it makes her feel better, tell her I have champagne and fruit.

But comrade Hempf... That's an egregious abuse of authority!

Doesn't that go against the best interest of our citizens and state?

Oh, Hector, I do not separate myself from our Great State.

What's good for me is good for the people and vice versa. So enough chit-chat; get back to work!

But she's married! How could I even bring that up?

With your mouth, Hector. That's what people normally use to communicate.

Her child's life is at stake; she'll do anything.

And if she becomes stubborn, remind her that she got through it the last time, when she was adopting the girl.

Remind Maria that I was the one who helped them get that child!

To satisfy their selfish desire to propagate, I had to deprive another family of its happiness. My heart still bleeds when I think about that.

Goodness! You gave them someone else's child to satisfy your lust?!

I don't like your tone, Medina, or the way you're twisting the facts.

I helped a childless couple have a kid, thereby creating a functional social unit. That's a fact!

Is there any other way?

Why am I wasting my time on you, Medina? Don't answer that question; it's rhetorical.

There's another way. My nephew graduated from the cattle breeding institute recently. He needs a good job.

Klaus works at the Ministry of Finance, but they're not hiring.

So, encourage him to create a vacancy.

How could he do that?

What happened to your imagination, Hector? He could give up his job so my nephew could have it.

So, Klaus quits and passes the torch to the younger generation.

Then perhaps I could help them out...

Is that all you can offer to the Schimmers?

Well, they could give me money. We're always short on liquid funds at the Ministry.

I'd need $150,000.

Now stop getting on my nerves; I gave you three options!

Bruno? I told Maria about your offer, and she agreed.

Wonderful, my dear Hector. See, that wasn't hard, was it?

Comrade Hempf, what about the information I requested?

What information?

Don't play stupid! You know you promised to tell me who Zlata's real parents are!

Lower your voice! You'll get the details tomorrow.

I'm not in the mood to work today. I need to go get champagne and fruit.

Bruno, I told Klaus about your proposal. He agreed to quit his job.

Wonderful! My nephew will be happy, as will his parents.

I can see the Ministry giving me an Outstanding Service award!

That's enough; stop bothering me.

Comrade Hempf, what about the information I requested?

What information?

Don't play stupid! You know you promised to tell me who Zlata's real parents are!

Lower your voice. You'll get the details tomorrow. I'm not in the mood to deal with that right now.

I have to go tell my nephew the good news and celebrate with my brother!

Bruno, I talked to Klaus. He can get the money.

That's great news! You've made my day! What could be better?

I don't know... The Great Leader's birthday?

Yes, of course! With that much money, we could truly celebrate in style!

When will he give me the money?

Tomorrow.

Fine! What else do you want?

Yes! The information I agreed to provide.

What information?

Don't play stupid! You know you promised to tell me who Zlata's real parents are!

Lower your voice. You'll get the details tomorrow. I'm not in the mood to deal with that right now.

I must go to the bank and get a safety deposit box.

Comrade Hemph, everything has been done according to your specifications.

I'm still waiting for you to give me the information about Zlata's biological parents.

Medina, you are a pain in the...

Damn you! Zlata's biological parents are Jacob and Louisa Manishek.

What?! So Marcus is Zlata's twin brother?

Who's Marcus? Eh! Don't bother telling me. I don't care!

Have a nice day, Hector.

Hello! This is...

We know who you are, Hector. What's wrong?

I believe one of my tenants is using his job to do something illegal.

Why didn't you call the police, Hector?

I have no evidence, only rumors. Can you sanction an inspection?

We can do anything we want, Hector. What's the suspect's name?

Jacob Manishek.

Your vigilance is greatly appreciated, superintendent 4598. We're sending someone to manage the situation. Our preliminary investigators will deal with Mr. Manishek.

Hello. May I talk with Louisa Manishek? She's a patient there.

Yes. One moment, please.

...

...

Hello? Who is this? Hector? Tell me you have good news... I beg you!

Our fate is in your hands!

Hello. I'm calling about your newspaper ad. Are you still casting for the part of the pirate?

Yes. You can audition any time tomorrow. We're in the Youth Theatre building. The entrance is located across from the garages.

Is this comrade Hemph? I have a gift for you: a life-size statue of the Great Leader made out of top-quality granite!

A gift? A statue of the Great Leader, you say? I do happen to have the perfect spot for it in my office. To what do I owe this honor, Hector?

Does it come with the proper documents? It's not contraband, is it?

The statue is perfectly legal, comrade Hemph, and it will come with all of the required documents. You can pick it up whenever you like!

You are a GREAT superintendent, Hector! I will certainly return your kindness someday.

I'll pick up the statue at my earlier convenience.

Comrade Hempf? I got Klaus Schimmer's ballot. How do I get it to you?

I'll come in person to send the paper to the archives.

Comrade Hempf? I have the money.

You shouldn't discuss state safety-related secret matters over the phone, Hector, even if you use the code words.

I'll be over soon.

National Euthanasia Center. How may I help you?

Hello. This is Hector Medina. I have put my affairs in order and would like to undergo the Blissful Sleep procedure without having to wait.

Are you truly ready?

National Euthanasia Center. How may I help you?

Hello. This is Hector Medina. I have put my affairs in order and would like to undergo the Blissful Sleep procedure without having to wait.

Are you truly ready?